Dear Nedlam,
I’ve been best friends with my friend since third grade. Ever since she got a boyfriend three months ago she’s been pretty distant. We hang out sometimes but not as frequently as we used to. The other day though, I saw her boyfriend kissing another girl that I have never met before. I’m scared of telling her because I don’t want her to think I’m just trying to ruin the relationship so I can have my friend back. She also seems really happy so its hard for me to want to tell her and ruin her happiness. However, I am scared that she’ll find out and be upset with me for knowing but not saying anything. Any advice? What should I do??
From
Single Friend
Dear Single Friend,
I know this might not be what you want to hear, but sometimes the right thing to do is the hardest thing to do. You have to tell her. I know, I completely understand why this seems like the worst piece of advice ever, and that she might get totally mad at you, but not telling her is much worse. There is a good chance that when you tell her she will get mad at you or accuse you of trying to win her back by lying to her. Stay calm. Tell her the truth and how you feel, that you do miss her, but would never lie to her about something like this. Even though she may be mad at you now, when she finds out that her boyfriend really did cheat on her, she’ll be grateful that you risked her wrath to tell the truth. It will be much worse if she finds out that you knew the whole time and never told her. Imagine how you would feel. I also totally understand that you want your friend to be happy, but do you really want her to be with a guy who cheats? Think about how much worse she’ll feel if she’s been dating him for over three months and she finds out that he cheated on her. Temporary happiness isn’t worth it if it means long-term heartbreak. Besides, even though it isn’t your intention for telling her, you’ll still be able to be there for her and help make things better once it’s over. I hope this helps and I seriously wish you the best of luck.
